It's supposed to relax us and help us think, but all it does is make me have to use the bathroom. The jungle has a waterfall that he turns on when we're taking tests. One side of our classroom is set up like the desert. It's not fair, but at least I'm still alive. So I just eat lunch far away from him, make room when he's cutting in line, and let him call me Nerd. I'm half Bubba's size and don't exactly want to die in elementary school. He breathes putrid fumes in your face.Īnd even though I've always wanted to do something about it, I could never figure out what. He doesn't have a gap between his front teeth anymore, but Bubba called him that in second grade, and he hasn't been Brian since. Even the teachers call him Gap because he wants them to. If Bubba calls you something a few times, you'll hear it over and over again from everyone. Todd is Toad, Ian is Fizz, Jenni is Worm lips, Trinity is Pony-girl, Kayla is Freckle, Sarah is Kiss-up… everyone's got two names: one from their parents and one from Bubba. The only thing Bubba's ever given anyone is names. Actually, I think he steals from them the most. And probably my favorite The Gecko and Sticky magazine and the Dinosaurs library book I keep getting a reminder on. My magic-rub eraser is in Bubba's desk right now with the initials B.B. Green's already got one full-time job teaching fifth grade, and my mom says it's hard for him to take on another in the middle of it. Green, tries to keep Bubba in line, but Mr. School without Bubba would be a whole new place. Line up for class without him taking cuts and shoving the rest of us back. Play four-square without him hogging the ball. I could eat lunch without him flipping over my tray. Say… what if I could fire Bubba from school? Wouldn't that be cool? Just kick him out and tell him to never come back. And second, I wouldn't hire Bubba in a million years. He says that I've got a lot more on the ball than Bubba does, and that one day Alvin Bixby will be working for me.īut he's wrong on two counts. Now that I'm a fifth grader, my dad tells me not to worry about Bubba. She says that kids like Bubba help us get ready for life. My mom and dad used to try to get the school to do something about Bubba. Now it's “Sure, Bubba” and “You betcha, Bubba” whenever he talks to him. Mike McDermish got dared to do it once and was nothing but Mike-mush when it was over.
I've told him that calling him Alvin will get me pounded. He thinks I should call him Alvin, which is his real name. My father thinks I shouldn't call Bubba “Bubba” like everyone else does. We had to slap his cheeks like crazy to get him to wake up, and when he did, he sat up, then threw up. When Bubba shouted at him, Ian's eyes rolled up in his head. It actually happened to him in the third grade. Teachers are always telling him to use words instead of fists-they have no idea what they're saying! Bubba-breath can knock you out cold.Īsk Ian McCoy. What I do know is that Bubba Bixby's got rocky knuckles. My dad says a boy isn't born bad-he grows into being bad.
#Attack of the tagger wendelin van draanen full#
MANIAC MONKEYS ON MAGNOLIA STREET, Angela Johnsonīubba Bixby was born big and mean, full of teeth and ready to bite. THE CRICKET IN TIMES SQUARE, George Selden SAMMY KEYES AND THE HOTEL THIEF, Wendelin Van Draanen SHREDDERMAN: ATTACK OF THE TAGGER, Wendelin Van Draanen In classic and award-winning literature for young readers.
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